bulbo

1)Do you always answer your phone?

yes if I realized it.. hehe

2) Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?

I think it's going to be my mom, or my other friends from that side of the world ;)

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?

dark blue? hehe I love blue so much ^^

4) Do u Like Dr Pepper ?
no

5)Do you own a digital camera?

yes

6)Have you ever had a pet fish?

yes

7) Favorite Christmas song?

um.... the drummer boy? hehe

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?

mini chaps!.. er... maybe not.. it's too long to wait for my next birthday lol
so.. it's going to be .. .. .. um.. .. I think just the money would be ok. ;)

9) Can you do push ups?

not a real push ups though lol

10) Can you do a chin up?

.. never try hehe

11)Does the future make you more nervous or excited?

both? :)

12) Do you have any saved texts? Who are they from and what do they say?

I just never erased them

13) Ever been in a spore flyer?

nope

14) Do you have an accent?

I don't think so

15) What is the last song to make you cry?

last song.. .. Because I'm a girl?

16) Plans tonight?

french restaurant

17)Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

yeah sure

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?

train ticket, croissant for breakfast, lunch

20) Current worry?

reports, exams, and that f*****g banquet

21) Current hate right now?
tong-tong kosong!!!!!!

22) Met someone who changed your life?

everyone that passed by

23) How did you celebrate in the past New Year?

Partying in Stravinski Hall, Montreux

24) What song represents you?

Shut Up - simple plan

25) Name three people who might complete this?

um.. I, don't, know.. hehe

26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yup, NOT to be a volunteer in this so individual class

27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?

not yet

28) Do you have any tattoo/piercing?

piercing

29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?

I don't know

30) Does anyone love you?

I'm sure about that

31) Would you be a ninja?

it would be cool hehehe

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?

I don't sing in the shower, hehe

33) Ever had someone sing to you?

yes!!!! ^^ such a nice memory :)

34) When did you last cry?

yesterday

35) What is in your pocket?

don't have pocket now

36) Do you like to cuddle?

yup

37) Have you held hands with anyone today?

no

38) Who was the last person you took a picture of?

me!! hehe

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?

er.. in my house? 3

41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

old

42) Do you like pulpy orange juice?

it's ok

43) What is something your friends make fun of you for?

er... my secret admirers?? lol

44) Do you like to play Scrabble?

not really

45) What are you saving your money up for right now?

to survive until next internship without asking any money from my parents ^^

46) When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?

can't remember

47) What song do you want played at your funeral?

.. never think of that. maybe my immortal? hehe

48) What were you doing 12 AM last night?

chatting with my room mate

49) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

what time is it??

Kalau mau katain orang ngomong DEPAN ORANGNYA!!

gw da capek banget...
bener... C.A.P.E.K.

Gw yang harusnya kelas mulai jam 2 siang
mesti bangun pagi buat kejer kereta yang sebelum jam 8 pagi.
buat apa??
buat banquet....

enak??
GA
Sekarang nih dah mulai salju, dan tau sendirilah dinginnya kayak apa. Aku harus stay di montreux 1 jam sebelum bisa ke caux dan abis dari caux aku harus stay lagi di montreux 1 jam. Trus, keliling dingin-dingin sendirian mana enak???

Begitu pulang aku dah harus siap-siap buat tes Prancis oral. Gugup??? BANGET
Untungnya tes Prancis aku masih oke.

Trus.... abis itu.....
tau????
aku dapet laporan....
MEREKA NGATA-NGATAIN AKU DI KELAS!!!!!!
Oke, emang bener banget kata pepatah

"Tong Kosong Nyaring Bunyinya"

Mereka tau apa soal kerjaan gw?
Mereka ga kerjain, mereka ga ngurus
jadi mau siapa yang urus??
Ya gw ambil alih, daripada lewat deadline trus kena deduction point lagi.

Trus mereka ngoceh soal daftar tamu. Itu daftar tamu yang jumlahnya 29 ittuuuuuuu itu buatannya Ketua Marketing gw tuhhh yang orang banyak omong tapi ga kerja kerja itu tuuuuhhhh. Gw ga ubah-ubah.

Trus mereka kesepakatan mau cuma jadi 15 orang doan. Oke, 15... Itu daftar ada 16 gara-gara apa??? Itu yang buat daftar, gw, Ketua Banquet, ma Guru Banquet, BUKAN GW SEORANG!!!!! dan trus, itu daftar naik ke 18 gara-gara ada penari yang udah kasih kita gratis, jadi kita HARUS ngundang dia 2 orang, dan itu tuh udah PROSEDUR YANG WAJIB!!

Lalu.... itu undangan kan jadinya hanya untuk 1 orang doang kan... Sejak mereka emang protesnya kayak begitu. Okay... Jadi, waktu salah satu guru yang emang cukup terpandang menerima dan menanyakan itu undangan berlaku untuk berapa orang? 1 orang ato 2? soalnya dia mau bawa istrinya. Waktu gw bilang 1 orang, MEREKA YANG PROTES lagi dan bilang, kita kasih 2 dong, masa kita cuma kasih 1???

Akhirnya, gw ma Bendahara membahas tentang siapa yang kita kasih buat 2 sama siapa yang cuma kita kasih 2. Maka naiklah itu jumlah ke 22. dan itu sudah berdasarkan persetujuan BENDAHARA. Lalu di kelas, mereka mulai lagi dengan suara nyaring hasil tong kosong itu. Maka sesudah itu, bendahara langsung bilang itu ada 2 guru kita ga perlu undang, jangan diundang, jadi gw hapuslah nama mereka. dan bendahara PUAS dengan keadaan itu. Dan itu baru KEMAREN

Lalu HARI INI mereka udah mulai lagi dengan TENG TENG TENG TENG suara tong kosong itu dan menyerang gw yang ga ada di kelas!!!!!!!!!
PENGECUT SEMUANYA!!!!!
Kalau mau memfitnah, FITNAH DEPAN ORANGNYA SEKALIAN!!
Kalau ga tau apa-apa, lebih baik TUTUP MULUT daripada CUAP CUAP
Dasar emang susah klo harus kerja sama dengan tong-tong kosong yang gunanya hanya menghasilkan suara nyaring nan memekakkan telinga.
Tong-tong yang tidak berguna, yang tidak tau apa-apa, tapi suaranya nyaring sekali...
Oke, silahkan mereka fitnah gw di depan guru, di depan temen-temen gw yang lain. TERSERAH

Emang silahkan klo ga terima gw jadi asisten banquet manajer, gw mencalonkan diri gara-gara temen-temen gw yang lain MINTA gw untuk mencalonkan diri. Jangan egois dong jadi orang, di kelas ini bukan hanya KALIAN saja, wahai tong-tong kosoooong... Ada golongan lain juga yang mau gw jadi wakil mereka. Gw tau kalian ga suka gw gara-gara gw emang bukan golongan kalian, gw manusia berambut, bermata hitam, dan kulit gw ga seputih cat tong kaliaaan. Gw juga produk dunia bagian timur dan bukan produk dunia bagian barat. Gw jarang banget yang namanya hura-hura dan minum-minum, gw emang bukan tong kosong yang memimpikan dirinya diisi oleh alkohol.

Kalau mau menyuarakan suara-suara ituuuu wahai tong-tong kosong... suarakanlah di depan ku!!! Tatap mataku!!! dan jangan asal berasumsi seenak perut tong mu itu!! Cari tau dulu sebelum cuap-cuap!!

Alone

I walked in the path that we walked before
The same route
The same time
But it's not the same at all

Is it the buildings?
Is it the trees?
Is it the people?
Is it the weather?
Or is it me?

It used to be so pretty
It used to be so dazzling
But now..
It's too colorless for autumn

Is it the trees?
Is it the weather?
Or is it my heart?

I walked in the path that we walked before
The same route
The same time
But now, without you

We've parted for ages
My heart doesn't belong to you anymore
But it didn't return to me either
I don't even know where is it now

I walked alone
In a quest
To retrieve what's been lost

A Special Thing That Happened

here is one of the reason why it's so hard to move on...
This long quote from my friend's blog, Febrina.
in this place and era of individualism, I really miss solidarity...
>.<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

26th January 2007

An unforgetable day
For me, for my third grade high school classmates, and of course, for Leedwin

I was reading all unread posts I haven't read in my FS group... And I remembered one thing when it came to the post Leedwin posted...
Check this out...

Temen2ku tercinta�.. hoho�

Aq dak tw nak ngo apo lagi� Thx nn e� baek nn kalian ne galonyo.. XII p2..

The Oksida.. kompak nean.. aq dak tw lagi nak cak mano tadi tu kalo dak ado kalian2 yg Bantu aq� tahan keluar pas jam pelajran� Tahan keno marah amo Pak Kasdi.. ampe pak kasdi ngo.. kalian mau di hukum atau keluar kelas� kalian galonyo keluar.. cuman sekitar 7 uong di kelas tadi.. seluruhnyo la di lapangan bola galo.. terharu nn aq tadi�

Agung na yg biaso diem biso ampe ngorek2 rumput kaget nn aq.. katonyo ampe cak nanem padi.. thx nn yoh gung.. trus demut.. pake acara maeni batang ampe nyari2 sibuk nn.. thx yoh ketuo kelas.. trus achmed.. ampe jgk2 got.. ngorek2� thx nn e� dgn abed jg.. sibuk nn ngorek2 comberan� ampe tangannyo kotor galo e.. sorry e.. thx nn tapi� seneng nn aq punyo temen cak kalian.. trus febrina,,, masuk2 ampe ke kelas2.. sibuk jg febrina tadi dgn valent..,, lisa jg.. merin� seluruhnyo.. yg la bantu nyari khususnyo shinta yg dr awal muter2 lapangan.. trus charles cupes diowong.. seru tanyo cak mano tadi aq lari nyo.., rute lari... Aq dak nyangko kalian baek galo.. Mungkin bagi kalian ah.. cuman �jepitan� untuk apo di cari.. tapi kalian semua baek2 galo.. nyarike galo... yetty jg... dico... ampe sibuk jg nyari.. yg paling semangat.. td tu sedi nn aq.. liat kalian2 galonyo baek2 galo dgn aq.. seneng nn rasonyo dak tw lagi la nka ngo apo ttg kalian.. oh yo aq ampir lupo.. Wewe... ampe nak panggil �ipo� cak paranormal cak tu e.. klo di pikir2 geli jg.. thx nn we e... la susah2 nelpon... tapi dak masuk e?? Hwhw.. dpp la.. thx nn lah.. liat kalian galonyo... skrg be masi teringet2 aq.. ternyata kelas XIIP2 uongny baek2.. solidaritasny tinggi.. semuanyo............. aq dak biso sebuti satu per satu... thx 4 all... yg namonyo dak kusebuti thx nn e.. pokoknyo thx lah.........Thx nn e... dak ado kato2 lagi aq selain Terima kasih dgn kalian galonyo.... thx nn.... Friend 4 eva.. okey??

Keep in touch ok?

I just copied and pasted it here... It remained the same and original, fresh from the oven (hmm, not really, because it's been nearly two years =P), from Leedwin...
Yep, maybe most of you didn't understand what she talked about, or just simply you didn't know what language she was using...
Haha, it's Palembang language, and she talked about The Oksida's great effort to help her...
Now, I'll try to retell what happened that day...
26th January 2007... It was Friday, and if I'm not mistaken, we had Art class at the first and second slots in our timetable... Like usual, we always did some mess whenever art class was coming, maybe because of Mr. JM who was too kind, too patient, too good for our class... Haha...
And that day, one of my friend, Leedwin, came late to school... She didn't attend the first two hour class because of her lateness... She had to do the punishment... Yeah, a punishment with a big bunch of people that also arrived after the gate had been closed... They had to run around the football yard... The size of the football court wasn't like the one in stadium, but, believe me, it's tiring... Haha...
She joined us, if my memory is still good, nearly in the end of art class... She still chit-chatted for a while before the bell rang to transfer all of us into the second class... I forgot what class we should have had at that time, but I think the teacher didn't show up or something, so that all of us being more and more crazy: move here and there to 'socialize' (read: gossip) with others, sang together, and created some noise... Ooh, I really missed those times... >.<
Then, Leedwin realized that her hairpin was missing... She started to become very worry, and at last, you can guess, she cried... And after that, most of us noticed that something was wrong with her, gathered around her, and started kaypoh-ing...
That hairpin was very precious to her... It was from her mom, that had gone to heaven, and it was the last present she gave to Leedwin...
Some of my friends started to join her crying, some looked very worry, and some didn't care... We started to ask her the punishment route, whether she remembered anything about the hairpin, etc, etc... I can only say that we started to feel very 'Sherlock Holmes' that day... Haha...
And, we decided to go out and try to find it around the school... Actually, it could drop everywhere around the school, and the school was not small (at least, before I saw NTU)... And, disregarding thoseimpossibilities to find the hairpin, we still wanted to fight...
When we were about to leave the class, Mr. Kasdi came and confront us... He gave us choice whether we wanted to be punished or we insisted on going out in study time...
Whooolaaa... Most of us went out and left around seven people whom I didn't remember... We went to the football court, circled it, and tried to find the pin... Some looked inside the drainage path... We went here and there... Valent and I even went into Kantor Kesiswaan, asked the data od late students that day, went into classes, asked permission from the teachers inside, and informed about this lost precious hairpin... We thought that someone might be taking it if they saw it lying on the ground...
And then, the first break time bell rang... We felt very hopeless... But, we still tried... We couldn't help seeing Leedwin cry all the way... I went to Tata Usaha, used a little part of my authority as OSIS committee, I announced through the speakers about this... I hoped that the power of chain message would affect more or less... Anyone heard about this might ask and inform other and hopefully we could find the little guy...
And at last, after a long lasting search, we finally found it...
It was with Delia... She found it when they were doing the punishment... She asked some people about the thing, but noone knew... Unfortunately, she didn't ask Leedwin...
Hehe...
And the story ended happily ever after...
The day is very unforgetable...
Moral of the story:
1. It's very happy if we can help others
2. Sometimes breaking the rules is not a bad thing
3. A little act of kindness goes a long way (^_-)
4. Don't come late to school or you will lose your hairpin (lol)
Waaah, I really missed those high school days, with the same dress everyday, the same class, the same teachers, the same classes... I miss my high school time... It's irreplacable...^^
Bravo...
The Oksida (The Orang-Orang Keren Dua Belas IPA Dua)...
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also took part in this detective game, also using my authorities as OSIS committee. It was such a great issue at school. We told the sport teachers that are in the football field what was going on, so we asked permission to search there. In the end, he wasn't only given us permission, but also told the classes that were having sport lesson to help us. "JALAN keliling lapangan dengan kepala menunduk ke bawah!!!!" So... in a very short time, there are LOTS of people walked around the footbal field trying to find that little particular hair pin!!!!

The other thing that I remember vividly... is when we walked class to class, to give small announcement in every class. Trying to persuade who ever that pick that hairpin... Please.. please return it.. it's worth nothing for you, but it worth more than a million to our friend. To be honese, we actually scared that the teachers would complaint to us, because of this small matter. It's true, it's just a hairpin though it's the last present that our friend received from her late mother, but still that thing will never be replaced by anything else in the world. But the teachers respond was beyond our predictions... They didn't complain at all, they even helped us!! Us!! Who's using our studying time to go around and making this small announcements! I remembered clearly one of the speech that a teacher gave in the class. It's all about solidarity and personal value...

In the end of our 'searching'.. we realized one thing, it's not only how great our class is.. but also the solidarity that really EXIST in our school, with 1600 students and 200 staffs!!!!!!
Something that I'm really sure, that will never happen in the place where I belong now...

Miss all of you, loving all of you, wishing that our friendship and solidarity will never end.

my silly, stupid day

Tadi pagi, aku harus pergi ke caux untuk liat jaket, dasi kupu-kupu, sama taplak meja. Jadi jam 8 pagi aku udah di atas kereta. Gila deh, hari Kamis yang biasanya hari bangun siangku gara-gara kelasku dimulai jam 2 siang.. hari kamis minggu ini aku mesti bangun pagi buat ngejer kereta! Terus sampe di Montreux kita harus nunggu kereta ke Caux hampir 1 jam. Jadi, aku pergi keliling aja buat cari Chianti Bottle buat dekorasi sekalian. Untung ada Michael, ketua banquet gw yang bahasa Prancisnya lumayan... klo ga.. bisa pusing juga gw coba jelasin chianti bottle ke orang-orang restoran yang emang cuma bisa bahasa Prancis. Sayang kita ga dapet, emang masih pagi sih, most of the restaurants haven't opened yet.

Trus setelah sampe di Caux, kita nunggu buat Mr. Liow selesai kelas, lalu juga mesti nunggu House Keeping yang pegang kunci, dan akhirnya agak sia-sia juga gara-gara yang pegang kunci lagi liburan. Jadi kita mesti pergi ke Caux lagi hari Rabu. But at least, kita yakin kita bakal dapet dasi kupu-kupunya, dan kita juga udah tau situasi di Caux. Waktu mau pulang.... keburu siiihhh klo mau ambil kereta yang 10 menit lagi buat ngejer kelas Fidelio. Tapi.. maleeeessss... jadii... kita putusin buat makan siang di Caux dan bolos kelas fidelio deh. hehehehehehe

Trus kita turun ke Montreux pake kereta yang sesudahnya. Sampe di Montreux, kita hunting Chianti bottles lagi, tapi emang ternyata tuh botol rare banget. Kita pergi ke resto-resto, bar-bar, dan mereka ga punya. Sampe di toko khusus wine, mereka aja bilang, itu botol susah buat dicari, blom lagi harganya mahal.. so... good luck banget dech, gitu loh. Terus, setelah hunting-hunting, ketemulah restoran yang punya chianti bottles, tapi, itu chianti emang cuma buat dekorasi, dan itu gede banget!! hampir semeter tingginya, dan itu masih ada isinya!! Jelas kita ga berani minta pinjem, soalnya, klo ada apa-apa, ga sanggup kita bayarnya. hiks hiks.. susahnya...

Ternyata, waktunya udah mepet sama waktu kereta buat balik ke sekolah, jadi kita buru-buru ke train station, soalnya kita masih ada kelas Banquet and Events, dan kita berdua manager dan asisten!!!! Ga mungkin banget klo kita mesti bolos tuh particular class!!! Eh, karena buru-buru, begitu kita sampe di peronnya, dan keretanya datang, kita langsung naik kereta. Eh... ternyata.. kita kepagian sedikit.. dan kita salah naik kereta!!! Ini kereta regional ke Villeneuve!! Jadi pas stop di Terriet, kita baru sadar, kenapa keretanya stop di sini??? Harusnya kan ga stop-stop sampe ke Aigle!!! Kita salah kereta!!!!! Lansung deh kita keluar di Terriet. Gila... bisa sebodoh itu gw!!! Bisa-bisanya gw salah naik kereta!!!!! BISA-BISANYA!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dan gara-gara ini mau ga mau kita berdua bolos kelas event!! oh.. gila, gw bener-bener udah mau teriak!!!!! Begonya gw!!!!
Gw bener-bener histeris, this is the first time in my life I skip class dengan sengaja (buat fidelio), dilanjutkan dengan ketidak-sengajaan, dan bolos seharian!!!! SEHARIAN. This is my record...

Sekarang nasi sudah jadi bubur, mau dikejer pun ga bisa. So.. apa boleh buat, kita jalan balik ke Montreux. Terus, pas nunggu di train station buat kereta selanjutnya (berhubung Terrier emang agak jauh), Michael baru inget, dia lupa tanya harga buat printing yang tadi kita tanya di toko (buat invitation), itu sudah termasuk harga paper ato belom? soalnya murah banget sih, dan dia bener-bener lupa! Duh.. klo sekarang kita balik ke tokonya, kita bakal bener-bener miss event class (klo kita naik kereta, kita masih ikut kelas event setengah jam). Tapi, setelah kita pikir-pikir, kesempatan kita buat ngeprint cuma hari ini doang.. soalnya hari Selasa itu undangan udah harus disebarin.... Jadi... oke.. kita ga jadi naik kereta yang udah ada di depan mata.. Kita balik ke tempat print.

Ternyata itu harganya udah termasuk harga kertas. Wah, murah nih.. jadi.. oke, langsung deh kita print. Mana print juga ga semulus yang kita bayangkan, gara-gara lay outnya hancur gara-gara beda media, dibuat di Mac, ditampilkan di Window, jadi harus kita edit-edit lagi. Dan itu microsoft word, dalam bahasa Prancis!!! Waduuuhhhh..... gw ngeditnya bener-bener berdasarkan ingatan tampilan Ms. Word untuk mencari fitur-fitur yang harus gw pake, dan juga gambar icon. Ternyata pelajaran teori waktu SMP yang mesti ngafalin fitur-fitur Ms. Word berdasarkan tabnya berguna juga ya.. jadi cara gw, ya.. ngurutin berdasarkan hafalan hahahaha...

Akhirnya, setelah hampir 2 jam kita nongkrong di situ, kita bisa keluar tuh tempat print dengan undangan-undangan yang telah selesai. Yay!! ^^ senangnya.... Kita juga udah telepon gurunya sih, kasih tau kita lagi di tempat print buat ngeprint undangan, jadi kita ga di itung absen, yah.. walaupun yang kelas 2 jam sebelumnya diitung absen... hehehe

Terus tiba-tiba Michael bilang.. "Wait, we forgot to put the date inside"... .. .. .. .. .. .. Tau ga, betapa gw shock??? Gw sampe stop dan for more than a second I fogot to breath, even my heart fogot to beat!!! Gw shock banget!!! Terus, gw baru sadar.. rasanya tadi ada deh... dan ternyata dia emang mainin gw!!!! !@#$%^&*_)(*&^%$#.. .. .. ..
Tau betapa geregetnya gw?? Gw bener-bener da mau teriak di kuping dia! gw bener-bener da mau...... (tak terungkapkan dengan kata-kata). Gw gereget banget! Bisa-bisanya dia!!!!! Udah ini hari gw bolos seharian, emang sih dia juga.. terus kita juga tadi udah salah naik kereta, terus mesti jalan balik ke Montreux. Dan dia masih bisa-bisanya mainin gw!!!
GILA!!!

Terus akhirnya kita jalan, soalnya emang kita mesti tunggu kereta juga, dan gw mo cari hadiah ulang tahun buat Carman. Bingung sih, dan gara-gara dia suka Lion King, kita pergi ke toko anak-anak. Dan tuh Michael.. keliatan banget childishnya... gila..... dia bisa ngatain gw childish dulu, dan liat LIAT.. dia main-main kayak anak kecil! Cape deh.. Terus kita bungkus kebab buat makan malem, dan kejer kereta balik deh. Dan kita sampe di sekolah setengah 8. So.. it's really really a looooooonnnnnggg day....

But hey, look at the bright sight!! Seandainya, kita ga bolos kelas fidelio, kita bakal langsung balike ke sekolah, dan kalau gw ga salah naik kereta, gw bakal balik ke sekolah dan kalau gw balik ke sekolah... gw ga bakal ngeprint undangan!!!! So, emang semuanya udah diatur supaya kita bisa ngeprint undangan hari ini. hehehe...
^^

last prep before going

today's objection:

1. go to caux in... around 15 minutes
2. negotiate the things that we can borrow
3. find chianti bottles for decorations
4. find something for carman

ok, sounds ok.
I wish everything will goes well.
I hope that our banquet and the preparations will goes smoothly
>.<

God, guide me in Your way...
^^

trap in the past

Tadi siang aku dapet presentasi dari Disney tentang Marketing You. Oke, presentasi ini asyik juga, apalagi presenternya lucu, yang kesan di benakku, kayak Donald Bebek. No offense, tapi... emang lucu dianya... hahahaha

dan ada satu kalimat dari presentasi ini yang aku inget banget. "Learn from the past, then forget it. cause you know what? it's over." dan.. kalau dipikir - pikir... rasanya aku memang masih terjebak oleh masa lalu. Tapi bukan karena masa lalu yang buruk dan terus kusesali sampai sekarang yang membuat aku ga bisa maju-maju. Tapi karena masa laluku jauh lebih indah dan membuatku tersihir oleh keindahan fantasi yang tak lagi nyata, aku terkurung dalam bola kaca yang menampilkan segala keindahan yang sebenarnya telah pudar dan hilang.

Walaupun akhirnya, bola kaca itu pecah.... Aku masih terpana akan keindahannya. Dalam benakku, bola kaca itu masih utuh, masih seindah dahulu kala. Aku masih tersihir. Aku menolak untuk bergerak, dalam anganku, bola itu sewaktu-waktu dapat kembali ke wujud asalnya. Walaupun deep inside, aku sadar, hal itu tidak akan pernah jadi nyata. Tapi tetap saja angan ini terus berlanjut dan menjadi penghalang untuk bergerak. Aku terperangkap oleh masa lalu.

Dulu......
Aku dan teman-temanku itu akrab dan kompak banget. Kita bisa belajar bareng, walaupun rame, tapi asyiiiikk... Yang satu bawa soal dari tempet lesnya, yang satu bawa soal dari hasil les privat sama guru, yang satu bawa soal dari koneksi kakak kelas tahun lalu... Dari soal-soal yang terkumpul dan menumpuk dihadapan, dikerjakanlah satu-satu. Semuanya saling mengajari kalo ada yang ga dimengerti.

Salah satu yang paling berkesan waktu sehari sebelum ulangan kimia. Semuanya kumpul di rumahku, berhubung waktu itu yang mengerti kimia aku. Kita benar-benar belajar bareng, membahas bab demi bab, hukum, dan soal. Sampai-sampai mereka kumpul sampai lewat tengah malam, yang sudah mulai ditelpon orang tuanya yang mulai cemas anaknya kok ga pulang-pulang... besok ulangan lagi.... hahaha... dulu itu lucu banget, dan berkesan banget. Sampe sekarang, belom pernah aku mendapatkan teman-teman yang seperti itu lagi.... Kadang.. aku berangan.. teman-temanku dapat secara ajaib tiba di tempatku sekarang, kita kembali seperti dahulu kala... tapi.. itu semua tidak mungkin kan???

I need to get over it. I need to move on. Though the present is not as preety as Iwant it to be. nor as sweet as I dream it will be.. but there's no other way. I need to face the truth, I need to move on...

Things NOT to do:
1. day dreaming
2. read comics
3. play facebook

Things TO DO:
1. do Geography report
2. do Marketing report
3. do Housekeeping report
4. call SHMS Caux
5. talk to Mr. Ivan
6. take money
7. go to restaurants to ask for chianti bottles
8. exercise and stretching
9. learn french
10. talk about decorations, concept design
11. make sure about the invitations
12. sign up for horse riding at school

jengkellll >.<

lihatlah betapa solider dan kompaknya anak-anak kelasku sekarang.....

sudah tau setiap minggu malem saatnya rapat....
tapi, tetep aja mereka ijin ma gw mereka mo pergi makan malem.
yang ijin ma gw cuma 2 orang.
tapi pas gw tanya siapa aja... jumlahnya mencapai 5 orang YANG DIA TAU, loh, lalu yang ga dia tau ada berapa banyak????????
hellooooooooo
have you ever heard the word solidarity, responsibility, consistency???

temen-temen gw selalu ngajak gw pergi makan minggu malem, tapi apa? gw selalu tolak ajakan mereka. kenapa?? karena itu waktunya meeting!!!
itu sudah kesepakatan bersama satu kelas, bahwa setiap minggu malem adalah saatnya rapat kelas. ok dong, kita udah buat kesepakatan, hormati kesepakatan yang telah kalian buat sendiri!!!!
jangan seenak jidat melakukan hal-hal yang kalian sukai sendiri!

susah banget ya rasanya kerja sama dengan orang-orang yang ga peduli sama orang lain. orang-orang yang hanya peduli sama diri mereka sendiri!!
yang merasa fine-fine aja waktu orang lain mengorbankan kepentingan mereka sendiri, dan mereka tetap tidak perduli.
rasanya kehidupan di sini itu memang sangat sangat individualistis, yang kalau mendapatkan celah untuk memanfaatkan orang, ga akan mereka lewatkan. yang namanya kepentingan pribadi itu diatas segala-galanya.
munafik kan orang-orang kayak gini??
sayangnya model orang-orang kayak gini banyak banget di dunia ini...

rasanya aku kangen banget sama masa-masa SMA, yang teman-temanku kenal dan mengerti yang namanya solidaritas, tanggung jawab, dan konsistensi.
aku sekarang menghargai banget saat-saat yang aku lewatkan di latpim dulu. mempelajari hal-hal yang sebenarnya penting banget dalam kerja sama. sayangnya, tidak semua orang sadar akan pentingnya sikap-sikap itu.

(sigh........)

seandainya saja....
kalian teman-teman SMA ku, di sini untuk melaksanakan banquet ini.....
aku yakin....
semua masalah ini tidak akan pernah ada
aku ga akan pernah merasakan kekesalan dan depresi seperti ini
semuanya akan penuh canda tawa
seperti dulu.....
sayang waktu tak dapat berjalan mundur
dan semua tidak terjadi sesuai dengan keinginan dan maksud hati
apa daya kalau harus merana

kita hanya dapat terus berusaha
dan berjuang

my sunday

duuuh

dasar moood ini ga bisa diajak kompromi sama sekali ya...
hari ini...

kemaren...

seharusnya aku mengerjakan report yang bakal di due minggu depan.
but.....
I ended up reading comics, taking pictures..
(sigh....)
and today...
I made a promise before to help the painting of le grand peinture.
and it's really fun!!! ^^
ga tau kenapa akhir" ini emang mood seniku lagi berkobar-kobar, kemaren" aja waktu ada temenku yang lagi kepengen digambarin badannya, aku langsung menawarkan diri dengan senang hati.
semangat seni lagi menyala, ada media minta digambar, kenapa tidak???
hehehe

tadi, jujur aku ga gitu tau juga sih mau lukis apa....
tapi akhirnya goresan" cat itu membentuk sesuatu dengan sendirinya.
yah, walaupun dengan jujur aku akui, gambarku itu tidak bagus" amat, apalagi klo sudah dibandingkan dengan gambarnya orang" yang emang pelukis di situ..
rasanya malu dan juga ada rasa bersalah, rasanya gambarku itu merusak karya mereka...
tapi.......
ini memang lukisan yang ditujukan untuk umum, tujuan lukisan ini adalah pemernyatu segala macam budaya dan bangsa yang exist di desa kecil tempat tinggalku sekarang ini.
dan juga mereka juga mengundang anak" untuk ikut berpartisipasi, ya.. yang namanya lukisan anak"..
jadi... aku lebih pede dikit sih.
hahahahaha

ok deh,
habis ini.... aku harus print questionaire buat rapat nanti malem, ini questionaire evaluasi for the managers. so, got to prepare myself for critics. I know it's good for me, and it is essential. but still, critics are never easy, but it's part of life. so.... let's face it! hehehe
coz if you run and run away... someday, you'll not have any other place to run, and on that time... you can't do anything..

after that, of course... I really really really need to start my project!!!!
geography will be due next week
marketing the week after
plus event presentation!!
then...
Mid term exams!!!!!!!!
though only 4 exams now..
thanks for those projects as subtitude for the exams.
at this exam, I still have house keeping project anyway.
sooo, time to do the projects!!!!
read the books for references...