Lonely Christmas

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Today is Christmas Eve..
bur for a person that celebrates it alone, today is just another day..

Yes.. I miss my family far away from here
that I'm so sure they are having a big feast over there like always..

I miss my friends
and I'm sure they are with their family having fun

If I were there, with my family,
I would have no time to sit in front of my laptop
I would wear my best dress
having a gala dinner
chat and taking pictures with my cousins
waiting for midnight,
waiting for the presents to come..

This is the third Christmas in a row that I spent without them
I guess, this is the price that I have to pay
for my pride of independence
going to adulthood

I'm no longer a child
nor a teenager
that live sheltered under the family's wings

Before, I don't hate the idea of living alone
even for the rest of my life
I think I would like that
without any strings that would bind me to things
that I don't really like

But spending such a festive night alone
I start to imagine,
maybe someday
when I have my own familiy
this day would be festive again
just like my childhood days

Yes.. this thought surprised me
I thought I would be fine alone
even when my friend that was living alone told me not to
she told me to find a husband someday
living alone is too lonely
I replied 'well, I could handle it'
but now...
maybe she's right

.......

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