Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Pelarian dari tugas

Penyakitku kumat lagi....
Disaat aku seharusnya mengerjakan sesuatu yang seharusnya kukerjakan... aku melarikan diri dengan cara mencari hal lain untuk dikerjakan. Contohnya??? Blogging hahahahaha.

Aku baru saja dari internship office, sign contract buat internshipku yang ke2. Jadi waiter di Imperial Thai di Zug, Switzerland. Aku sudah liat foto-fotnya di internet, keren sih, kayaknya aku bisa lumayan betah kerja di sana, mulai dari 28 Januari sampai dengan 27 Juli. Gajinya? Lumayaaannnn... gaji kotor 2200 CHF, bersihnya 1287.55 CHF plus tips..... hehehe. Denger-denger nih.... tips lumayan.. bisa mencapai 500-700 CHF sebulan. Wow...... asyik nih. hehehe. Aku memang sedang gencar-gencarnya menghitung tentang uang, maklum, CHF lagi tinggi banget dibandingkan rupiah, apalagi sekarang di Indo keadaan ekonominya sedang tidak baik. Timbullah keinginan untuk meringankan beban orang tua, apalagi mulai semester depan uang sekolahku juga ikut naik. Maunya sih, beda kenaikan nanti aku yang tanggung. Semoga saja semuanya berjalan lancar dan aku sanggup untuk menjalankan rencanaku ini. ^^

Seharusnya apa yang aku lakukan sekarang??
Menyelesaikan event presentation. Sudah hampir selesai sih, cuma tinggal menambahkan foto dan animasi. hehe

Tapi mood ini jujur... bukanlah mood untuk belajar atau sekolah... Aku sedang berada di alam mimpi.. Masih terngiang-ngiang di benakku tentang film yang kutonton dari minggu lalu. Hong Gil Dong, lalu sekarang.. Beethoven Virus. Film ini benar-benar menggelitik jiwa seniku. Aku memang tidak berbakat ataupun mahir dalam musik, tapi aku benar-benar menikmati musik. Aku suka main piano walau aku tau, aku mainnya ga pernah bagus-bagus amat. Mulai dari teknik yang pas-pasan, jarang latihan, kurang penghayatan, sampai kurangnya pengetahuan tentang istilah-istilah musik yang didominasi bahasa Itali. Tapi aku memang main hanya untuk hobi, hanya untuk senang-senang, asal aku senang... itu saja sudah cukup. ^^
Yang mengesalkan... saat aku sedang ingin main piano.. piano itu jauh dari jangakauan. Piano di Grand Hall suaranya amatlah sangat menyedihkan, piano yang di Gereja... males untuk jalan keluar disaat winter. Apalagi sekarang lagi kepengen belajar main biola.. Keinginan ini sudah dari lama sih, tapi selalu tidak pernah tercapai. Dulu waktu membentuk "Pachabels Blue", duet piano dan biola.. aku sempat ketemu guru biolanya dan sempat mau belajar. Sayang saat itu sudah mau ulangan umum, dan tertundalah lagi, lalu sesudahnya, tibalah saya di kelas XII, final year in high school, dan hilanglah lagi kesempatan.

Apa boleh buat.....
mungkin suatu hari nanti,

Jujur, aku awalnya nonton film Beethoven Virus ini gara-gara pemainnya Jang Geun Suk, si pemeran Prince Lee Chang Hwi di Hong Gil Dong. Tapi peran yang ia mainkan di film ini beda jauh dari sisi karakter dan penampilan. Aku ga ngeh waktu liat penampilannya yang modern di film ini, apalagi karakternya di sini sungguh ceria, tidak seperti peran mellow si pangeran. Tapi setelah kutonton sampai episode 7, ceritanya juga tidak kalah menarik, apalagi lagu-lagu klasik yang terus menjadi tema. Lumayan, menambah pengetahuan tentang lagu klasik dan para komposer terkenalnya. Aku pun kembali tertantang untuk mengetes memory isitlah-istilah classical pieces yang kupelajari waktu SD dulu. Sungguh menarik.. tampaknya aku selalu haus akan ilmu....

Pengetahuan di dunia ini.. begitu banyak dan begitu menarik...
Aku ingin tau
Aku penasaran
Aku ingin belajar
Aku ingin bisa
Tapi...........
Tampaknya walaupun kubelajar seumur hidup.. rasa haus ini tidak akan pernah terpuaskan.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Hong Gil Dong songs

I got the full album for Hong Gil Dong ^^
at last......
after downloading for hours and hours..... hehehehehehehehehe

2 of my favorite songs are actually... er... sad songs.
But even the story is so sad in the end, that the impression that lasts is so sad that it even still hurt my heart when I remembered or hear the songs...

This is 'what if' by Tae Yeon from Girls Generation

manyageh naega gandamyeon
naega dagagandamyeon
neon eoddeogeh saenggakhalgga
yonginaelsu eobtgo

manyageh niga gandamyeon
niga ddeonagandamyeon
neol eoddeogeh bonaeyahalji
jaggoo geobi naneun geol

naega babo gataseo
barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado
wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa
ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

jeongmal babo gataseo
saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

manyageh niga ondamyeon
niga dagaondamyeon
nan eoddeogeh haeyamanhalji
jeongmal alsu eobtneungeol

naega babo gataseo
barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado
wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa
ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

jeongmal babo gataseo
saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

naega babo gataseo
saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

If i were to go
If i were to get close to you
What would you think?
I don’t have the courage.

If you were to go,
If you were to leave.
I don’t know how to send you away
It keeps hanging on my mind

I know i am a fool and can only watch you from afar
Your heart may look away from me…
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because …
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

If you were to come
To come near me.
What would i do ?
I really don’t know

Because im like a fool.
Even though i know looking is all i can do
Your heart may look away from me
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because….
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad

Because i’m like a fool
Even though i can’t say i love you
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

만약에 내가 간다면 내가 다가간다면
넌 어떻게 생각할까 용기 낼 수 없고

만약에 니가 간다면 니가 떠나간다면
널 어떻게 보내야할지 자꾸 겁이 나는걸

내가 바보같아서 바라볼 수 밖에만 없는건 아마도
외면 할지도 모를 니 마음과 또 그래서 더 멀어질 사이가 될까봐

정말 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐

만약에 니가 온다면 니가 다가온다면
난 어떻게 해야만 할지 정말 알수 없는걸

내가 바보같아서 바라볼 수 밖에만 없는건 아마도
외면 할지도 모를 니 마음과 또 그래서 더 멀어질 사이가 될까봐

정말 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남 뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐

내가 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남 뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐

the other one is 'fate' by Park Wan Kyu

naega neomu yaghaeseo naega neomu nabbaseo
Geujeo ireohge neol bogoman issseo
Nae jichin maeumdo nae gipeun sangcheodo
oraen gieogcheoreom ijeoseottnabwa..
nareul gamdang hal suga eobseo~
neoegeman maedallige dwe

neo ireohge gajima~~
nae simjangi neoreul bureujanha~
michidorog janinhan inyeone
deoisang amugeotdeo hal suga oebseo

seulpeunnae moseubdo seulpeunneoe nunbitdo
geujyeo seuchyeoganeun baramiryeona
gachin baramsorie gwi0reul magabojiman
neoreul boneun nuneun mageul su eobseo..
gateun haneurarae neowa nan
daeungoseul bogo ittnabwa..

neo ireohge gajima~~
nae simjangi neoreul bureujanha~
michidorog janinhan inyeone
deoisang amugeotdeo hal suga oebseo

ggeutieobtneun maeume~~
beorilsuga eobtneun i yogsimi
na ireohge wonhago wonhaedo
neol jagyeogjocha eobtneun naingeol..

geureol jagyeogjocha~~ eobtneun naingeol..

내가 너무 약해서 내가 너무 나빠서
그저 이렇게 널 보고만 있어
나의 지친 마음도 나의 깊은 상처도
오랜 기억처럼 잊어었나봐..

나를 감당 할 수가 없어~
너에게만 매달리게 되

너 이렇게 가지마~~
내 심장이 너를 부르잖아~
미치도록 잔인한 인연에
더이상 아무것도 할 수가 없어..

슬픈나의 모습도 슬픈너의 눈빛도
그져 스쳐가는 바람이려나
거친 바람소리에 귀를 막아보지만
너를 보는 눈은 막을 수 없어..

같은 하늘아래 너와 난
다른곳을 보고 있나봐..

너 이렇게 가지마~~
내 심장이 너를 부르잖아~
미치도록 잔인한 인연에
더이상 아무것도 할 수가 없어..

끝이없는 마음에~~
버릴수가 없는 이 욕심이
나 이렇게 원하고 원해도
널 자격조차 없는 나인걸..

그럴 자격조차~~없는 나인걸..

—-

Because I am so weak, because I am so bad
I am just watching you like this.
My worn-out mind and my deep scar
I must have forgotten them like an old memory.
I cannot handle myself,
I end up clinging on to you.

Don’t leave like this
(Don’t you see) My heart is calling out to you.
In this cruel fate, that drives me crazy,
There is nothing more I can do.

My sad appearance and the sad look in your eyes –
I wonder if they are just a passing wind.
Although I try to block my ears from the rough sound of the wind
I cannot block my eyes from seeing you.
You and I under the same sky
We must be looking towards different places.

Don’t leave like this
(Don’t you see) My heart is calling out to you.
In this cruel fate, that drives me crazy,
There is nothing more I can do.

In an endless feeling, this greed I can’t abandon
Although, like this, I want and want
It is I that has no right to have you.
It is I that has no right to have you.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sorry....

dedicated to someone that used to be 'my someone'

I'm sorry to tell you this
I know I'm selfish
But I really need to tell you this
for this is my answer...

I'm sorry if you still felt the same way as before
sorry if you are still waiting for me
impatiently
sorry for all the pain that you have to endure

but honestly
I don't think we could be the same as we used to be
not only that both of us knew that it has no future
but I have lost the precious feeling that we had.
to force it,
will have nothing in result
only to add new scar for both of us

you were sorry to push me around
but still, you pushed me again and again

I'm very sorry to tell you this,
but I don't want to start new
both of us knew it will lead to nothing

I'm sorry that I don't even want to try
for I know, the feeling will never come back

the future that I've planned
has no place for you
I know it's cruel to say
but if I don't tell you clearly,
you'll start to push me again

sorry that I'm very evil to tell you this,
But I'm waiting for someone else
not you

but you ask for the truth,
and the truth that I gave.

This is the thing that I've been telling you for times
again and again
it's over.

Please forget me,
please start a new with someone
someone that will cherish you better than me
someone that you will love more than me

Please move on
don't stay where you are right now

I'm sorry...................

Thursday, January 1, 2009

movie Hong Gil Dong

I just finished a Korean Drama, Hong Gil Dong, this morning.
It means... yes... I spent my new year watching this Korean series. hehehehe Well, I did have a small party with my friends, open a bottle of wine, took some pictures, then... I went back to my fantasy world.

This morning, my mind run back to the movie, to the story....
My feeling is still the same as this morning.. my heart is crying, how could there be a sad story such as this? This is a story, and like other stories, I hope that this one will end happily, I've been thinking about what kind of happy ending the story will have, but it turns out to be not that happy. It made me shed tears...

In this story, the character that caught my attention is the legitimate prince. He is the son of the previous queen, and the second prince of the nation. After his father death, he received a royal sword from his father with the inscription that will make him the next king. But then, his older brother, the first prince set fire in his palace, killing his mother, and made him run away setting a fake death of him behind. He has been a dead person in the eye of the world.

20 years later, he has gathered a lot of money and power secretly with the mask of a merchant. He grew to be a cold man that only has one goal, to fulfill his destiny and become king. Accidentally, he met a dimwitted, reckless girl that eventually could open his heart and made him more human, he learned what is it mean to cherish and to protect something. With the hero of the story, he found the reason why he should be king, to protect his people, give them better live.

The present king, his older brother, has become insane. He has a deep guilty feeling inside, that he had kill his own brother in order to ascend the throne, he keeps having delusion of ghosts that came to blame him. He became a crazy king that never care about his people, and so the the people are suffering.

After he succeeded to ascend the throne, his older brother told him a secret that just has been revealed, the royal sword with the inscription on it is fake, the real one, doesn't have anything written on it. The one who fake the sword is his own mother, he never was the real king. All that he had been believed was a lie, he lost his trust, his reason.

Though eventually, he gain back his reason to become king, to cherish and protect his people, he faced a new challenge, the hero, hong gil dong is a bastard, therefore, a slave, a criminal, but he was his loyal friend, a hero for the people. He tried to give him official title, but the nobles and other government officials keep complaining. Then, a rumor of the hope of the people to make the hero become King, the law stated him as traitor, and has to be executed. In order to become a real king that could control his ministers and scholars, he should kill gil dong. His fiancee, the reckless girl that opened his heart, has been in love with gil dong for a long time and decided to go to Gil Dong's side. Knowing to take her by force will only kill her innerself, but to let her go, means that she would be killed too, and that will kill his innerself.

In the end, he let her go...
Having silenced all of the complaints from the ministers, he ruled as the greatest king in the history.

Such a sad story, a sad ending for him, and also for the hero of the movie...


If I was in his position...
knowing that everything that I believed was a lie... honestly, I wouldn't know what to do, I would be too confuse to do anything, I might run away, I might be pretending that I never know the truth..
Though I hope for a happy ending...
Logically, it won't be easy to change something that already like blood to the society at that time, the different of royalties and slaves. Although he is the king, the king alone couldn't change anything. He need support from his ministers, his subordinates, his people. This kind of plot, is something that most likely to happen in the real world.
Sad.. isn't it... the world that we lives in... is not a world of a happy ending.

There's a song that also very sad... just hearing it could make me sad, though I don't know the meaning of the words, but then I found out the meaning of the words. It is a sad song.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The end of New Moon

Yup, you guessed it.
I've finished!!!!!!!!!!!!
^^

it's so nice reading it.. I never could let to any book when I almost reach the end of it. I just couldn't... I'll keep reading, reading, and reading until I reach the words "the end" or "to be continued". Weird??? Sure it is... But.. I just couldn't help it. hehehe

I started get glued to it since the part when Bella has to go Italy, to save Edward from provoking the Volturi Family... Maybe part of it.. because I was really thrilled... at last... after tons of chapters with no Edward Cullen in those... Well, he isn't the reason why I read the book.. But, the story is about a girl that falls in love with him, it's a love story.. and those chapters are about brokenhearted, pain, delusion, and all of that sort of negative feelings of a brokenhearted girl.

it's just... not something that I would love to read about. hehehe
Not because that it also reminds me of my own past experience of post broken relationship, but I am used to... feel the characters emotions in the book. Specially the ones that are the protagonists. I'll feel happy when it's a happy ending, when something sad happens, I could cry with them.
Silly???
Yes, I guess I am.
XD

Now that I've finished the book, with a happy ending, I couldn't be happier. And now, the book took me to a scene, a city... an old one, that brought a lot of imagination to me. A city that practically within my reach, Volterra, a small city in Italy. And now... I'm having a holiday.... now, I don't need a visa to go to Schengen countries.... God, this is really tempting me!!!!!
I would really love to go there. I am.
The only string that bounds me to where I am now... is money.
Right, I don't have the money to support my leisure tourism. Though, actually, yes I have the money.. but.. NO. It's the money that I intend to keep at all cost, it's for something that is very urgent and unpredictable. So, I couldn't let go my insurance just for a moment of euphoria, right???

Anyway, I put Volterra on the list of places that I definetly go if I have the chance!!!
^^

This is the end of my New Moon...