Kesendirian

Aku jatuh cinta
padanya yang selalu ada
dikala mereka tak ada

dikala ku suka
dikala ku duka

aku menikmatinya
dikala ia di sana
ditempatku berada

aku membencinya
dikala mereka menyapa
dan ia pun sirna

kumencintainya
lebih dari yang seharusnya

kumenyayanginya
padahal benci kuseharusnya

sunyi ia
walau ia disana

keegoisan cintanya yang membara
mengikat diriku padanya

cemburu ia
mereka merenggutku darinya
mengusirnya
dan ia pun pergi dengan murka

tetap saja
ku jatuh cinta
pada egoisnya
pada diamnya
pada cemburunya
pada murkanya
yang membuat rindu bersuara

Mules...

-----

kudengar gemuruh
mengguncang tubuh
hati mengeruh
tubuhku rapuh

perasaanku tak enak
intuisiku tak baik

tak lama lagi
dapat kukatakan
kukan kembali berlari
bersembunyi di ruang kecil

kudengar gemuruh
mengguncang tubuh
hati mengeruh
tubuhku rapuh

yang menghantuiku sejak
siang tadi

-------------

Terinspirasi dari keadaan perut yang sungguh tak enak..
dan didorong oleh rasa sesal telah menghabiskan ice cream itu tadi siang.......
T.T

for a person that I know

I am tired of wondering over and over

Do you remain silent because you are ill?

Do you stop talking because your heart is broken?

Do you look sad because you are sick of me?

Do you hate talking to me?

Do you enjoy the gap between us?

Do you think what I am wondering about you?

Do you feel the same thing as I do?

Lonely

I want to drive the loneliness away

But you never want to let it go

You keep it besides you for every seconds

I want to replace the loneliness

But it seems you love it more than you love me

by: Fen

This poem is made by my friend, I read it, and just perfectly describe what I felt...

Senyum Palsu

dalam hampa
ku bersila

ditemani sepi
disebelah sunyi

mereka berbisik nyaring
suara suara yang asing
dengan nada yang berdenging

mereka ramai
ku tak damai

hati ini kosong
hidup pun melompong

mereka berbisik nyaring
suara suara yang asing
dengan nada yang berdenging

kita tak satu
terpisah pagar batu
senyum yang palsu

mereka menatap
ku meratap

sesalilah
bila ku tak sama
kita bersama
jiwaku berkelana

mereka berbisik nyaring
suara suara yang asing
dengan nada yang berdenging

kumerindu
pada waktu
ingin kupeluk
saat dulu

saat surya
menyapa
dalam ria
kita berkisah

tiada
mereka berbisik nyaring
suara suara yang asing
dengan nada yang berdenging

_._._._._._._._._._._._

temaaaaaannnnnn aku kangeeeeeeennnn >.<

Foggy Day

I sit alone
outside my room

see nothing but fog
with my feeling clogged

I live among the clouds
high above the crowds

saying my prays
to cease this sky of grey

for the tears I shed
and the laughter I shared

not to stop dreaming yet
happy ends for romeo and juliette

but it is hard
to chase away doubt

when it's easier to let you leave
rather than to deceive

this love is greed
made my heart bleed

and this cold breeze
made this feeling freeze

should I hold on
or moving on?

Meresah

gara" Dyah nih...
bikin semangat untuk buat puisi hihihihihihi

gundah
resah

tak lagi cerah duniaku
matahariku
berlayar menjauh

ia masih di sana
tapi hangatnya tak terasa

tahukah kamu?
rasa nyeri menunggu
sekiranya bertemu
aku masih ragu

hati ini retak
tapi masih berbunga

apakah anda
merasa sama?
rasa berseri
dan perih?

atau
hanya aku
yang tersipu
dan tertipu?

Game Lovers

we're just a couple of ordinary people
that lives in an unusual world

a real, mixed with imaginary world
we meet each day
we talk each time
we share tears and joy
the bond is born

we know it's not real
and it won't last either

stupid as it might be
as unreal as it is
but we keep going anyway

reasons start to speak
we both realize it
but again
we close our eyes
and start to play

we're just a couple of stupid people
that lost in a game

Pandora Box

I saw a box
shining brightly
full of colors

so attractive
that my heart start to yearn for it

what box is it?
I do not know
will it be opened for me?
that's a mystery

whose box is it?
it's a secret
how could I obtain it?
I have no idea

what's inside..
puzzles me
will it be nice?
will it be bad?

will it be full?
will it be empty?

in the midst of know nothingness
I still years for it
dreaming of having it in my arms
..

such a box
a pandora box

ia sudah tiada

ia yang kau kenal
sudah tiada
ia yang kau cinta
tak lagi di sini
ia yang kau impikan
telah hilang

ia telah berubah
bukan seorang yang kau kenal
ia tak lagi seperti dulu

kau hanya mengejar bayangan
kau mengejar dia
yang telah tiada

ia tak lagi disini
ia telah pergi
bukan sembunyi

kau tunjukkan sayang
pada orang yang salah
orang yang berbeda
dia bukan ia

ia sudah tiada
ia tak lagi di sini
ia telah hilang

ia yang kau kenal
telah berubah
ia yang sekarang
tak lagi kau kenal

few words

well....
what can I say......
I want to write longer >.<
I really want to >.<
but now... I only have half an hour before I have to catch the bus and here I am, still haven't got out of my cozy bed yet.
hehehehe

even when I have spare time.....
I spent if for "Legend" the Korean drama series, hehehe
the story is good, the legend is... somehow... sad :(
and honestly, I hate sad ending stories, so I hope the drama will have a happy ending (I'm watching episode 8 out of 24).

and oh.....
I got my final 2nd ROA already!!!!
my average is 86 :(
T.T
I hate accounting report
and the group member of the other report is.. er... not so... fortunate >.<
(sigh.............)
what can I do..
it's life.. so.. ENJOY it!!!!!!!!!
^^

This year Valentine's day is quite ordinary for me.
I hope for nothing
since I'm going to work the whole day anyway
hahaha
strangely, I got a strange dream, that made me wrote this poet on the morn of the "V" day

I have no hope with you
I thought
I’ve given up on you
I thought
I’ve been over you
I thought

Saat kubuka mata
Di senja tadi
Aku terhenyak
Dalam mimpi
Engkau ada

There’s a breakfast in front of the door
With a little note,
Make sure that I have breakfast before I go to work
(something that I’ve really rarely done)
there’s a message on my cell
shy, awkward words

semua itu
ciptaan khayalan saat tidur
menyingkap keinginan hati
yang terkubur

something impossible
things that will not happen in reality

harapan kosong
belaka

Today
Just like yesterday
I’m not hoping for anyone

Well, the valentine's day is quite good actually.
I got the whole atmosphere since I'm working in a restaurant and you can guess our customers would be couples, and even we gave some special extra decoration and services. One of my college, he's a player I could tell, he gave every single working woman in the restaurant a rose, so I got a rose. Well, I dried it for sure, like I did with every rose that came to my possession lol, but the best part is....... I got a lot of tips!!!! lol
I love Valentine's day ^^

My words as Isabella Swan

you told me to go on with live
mortal life

pretended that you've never existed
not just in my life
but in the whole world

you took away all of the proof of your existence
you didn't left any trails
nothing that I could treasure
not even a shadow

can't you see that it's so cruel??
to leave me behind with all of these tears?

you said mortal memory is fragile
it'll fade with time

at least....
let me remember you as my sweet memory
left me something that I could treasure till the end of my life

don't ask me to pretend that you never exist
for you are special for me
in every way that I could describe

the way you left me now
hurt me so deeply.........................

So deep
that the pain will still lingers
till the time I won't feel any pain anymore

For those who thinks my world is perfect

I've been living in a dream
in a place where everything is exactly as I wished
though reality is near
it's covered with a thick mist
though sometimes I got some glimpse
I ignored them
take it as a nightmare
and go on in my dream

in this mind...
my world is wonderland
so beautiful
the perfect picture
a painting without flaw
my little ball of crystal

That's what I seems to be
and that's what you think

but the reality of it...

I'm not living in a dream
but I wished I lived in that dream

I'm no princess
that's innocent and naive
who knows nothing of the world
I might seems to be one
but I'm not

the flaws of my life
are covered and decorated
you'll never seen them
unless you know to the core of me
my life is not perfect
nor that I always happy

you think that I have everything
but.. what is everything???
could anyone would ever have everything???
we live in a real world
not a fairytale
even in fairytale, there's always an evil witch

what make you so envious of me?
that you try to ruin my world
that is not even near to perfect??

how could you betray
someone that never betrayed you?

Avenged is something that is formed in my mind
but what for??
for misunderstanding my world?
I could only pity you

I do have flaws
I'm not innocent either
sadness, betrayals, depression, loneliness
are friends that come to visit every now and then

It's like having a long trip
walk slowly, enjoy the view
should I crossed path with wolves
I just cantered away
left them behind
they might have bitten me
but it's not a reason to hunt all of them down
just go on with the journey
enjoy the forest
trot and canter for fun

no one has a happily ever after kind of life
it's just the way you live your life
the way you treat others
the way you think of yourself
that makes as if you lived in a dream
a sweet dream that everyone dreams about

Dear Banquet,

why is your shadow still above my head?
why do I still thinking about you
and be deeply burdened by it?

I should have been over you
You should be only history for me
cause our relations are over!!!
Well, not completely though,
since I still need to see you
and we have some business undone

I'm so tired of you
honestly, I am
if I can, I want to run away
leave you behind
run away
forget everything

I hate all the problems that you brought me
I hate all of the sorrow that I have to feel
I'm so tired
physically
mentally

because of you,
I felt so exhausted
that made me tired of being care
Why should I care,
if anyone else doesn't care?????
Why do I need to clean the mess that you made??

Why should I experienced such a bad time with you?
I expected something really nice with you
like before it used to be...

honestly,
it wasn't you really...
it's all the people that were involved in our relationship
other people
that ruin our relation
too bad, isn't it?....
but it's over now

should we cross our path later
I wish, it's going to be a more intimate relation
just between us
with the people that are going to strengthen it
not to ruin it
...

though I'm disappointed
I secretly keep a deep passion for you
.
.

Menunggu

ada sesuatu yang hilang
sesuatu yang penting
yang membuatku gersang
bagai kerang
yang kosong

rasanya hampa
hari tanpa warna
senang sementara
sepi kembali menyapa

aku bahagia
aku kecewa
aku tertawa
aku merana
rasanya sama
hanya sementara

ke manakah harus kucari?
yang membawa mentari
yang membuatku menari
dan bernyanyi?

kutanyakan pada bintang
kubisikkan pada angin
kudendangkan pada bulan
kuisyaratkan pada awan
kumenunggu jawab mentari

j'ai attendu
j'attends
j'attendrais

bintang bermain mata
angin bernyanyi mendayu
bulan menatap lembut
awan menari riang
tapi mentari tak kunjung tiba

j'ai attendu
j'attends

j'attendrais

sampai pekat malam
membawa kelam
dan jantung ini diam

who are you? // Siapa kamu?

Who are you?
you've been visiting me
but I don't know you

you left no marks
no signs
no words
no tracks
only something

something
that keeps bothering me
that makes me wonder
no hope
but thoughts

you said no hello
and no good bye

I don't even know
whether you knock the door
or not
you always come
when I'm not there

you left nothing
that would make me know
who you are

only something
of someone been there

there's no witness
there's a lot of possibilities
there are thousands of people
that could be you

Siapa kamu?
yang menjengukku

kau pergi dan datang
tanpa kata
tanpa jejak
tanpa suara
tanpa tanda

hanya sesuatu
yang kau pajang di depanku
sesuatu
yang mewakili jutaan penduduk
yang mengusikku
membangkitkan khayalku

akankah kau baca kataku?
akankah kata ini mengusikmu?
seperti sesuatu mengusikku?

kau selalu ada
dikala ku tak ada
seakan kau sudah sadar
kesempatan kau manfaatkan
seakan kau perhatian
dan aku tidak

bila kau perhatian
tunjukkanlah
jangan buatku penasaran
buatku merana
buatku menebak
tanpa arah

tunjukkan dirimu
jangan kau malu
kuhanya ingin tahu

--------------------------
gini deh klo lagi kegandrungan puisi
padahal ini lagi minggu ujian
besok masih ujian
masih harus buat report
aku ngapain????
nulis puisi
^^

Alone

I walked in the path that we walked before
The same route
The same time
But it's not the same at all

Is it the buildings?
Is it the trees?
Is it the people?
Is it the weather?
Or is it me?

It used to be so pretty
It used to be so dazzling
But now..
It's too colorless for autumn

Is it the trees?
Is it the weather?
Or is it my heart?

I walked in the path that we walked before
The same route
The same time
But now, without you

We've parted for ages
My heart doesn't belong to you anymore
But it didn't return to me either
I don't even know where is it now

I walked alone
In a quest
To retrieve what's been lost

Hitam & White

hampa
campa
my life is colorless

I enjoy myself
in my own loneliness
dalam khayal
duniaku

dunia penuh warna
segala macam corak
but I remain
black and white

dream about a land
of the past
terperangkap
kenangan

mundur tak dapat
maju pun tak rela
for the future
seems so dark
and empty

in my dreams
...
I am a princess
of the land full of color
dancing in the field of flowers
dengan mahkota nan indah

aku tak sendiri
tiada sepi
hanya ada canda tawa
mentari bersinar
bianglala menghias
semerbak wangi bunga
aku terus menari

I refuse to be awaken
let me sleep
let me dream

confusions

I know that you're not mine
nor that I am yours

I know you're thinking about another girl
and you're so happy because of it

I know that I'm nothing for you
and you are something for me

though you are with her
I sincerely wish for your happiness and happy for you
nor that I hold any grudge for your beloved
I really am

I'm content just to be your friend
to hear your words
and tell you mine

though I don't hope for you anymore
but you still have that spell on me
no matter how blue I am
or how desperate I am
you are the only one that can bring laughter to me

I don't even understand why
I really am happy for you
and wish for you and her to be happy
I am a bit sad, but I'm also happy
I'm supposed to be jealous
but I'm not

I gave up on you
gave up on my hopes
but you still cast your spell
it's supposed to be futile!!!

I don't know anymore...
maybe it's because we are really good friend???

did you ever know??

I'm hoping for you
of course
I never tell you
nor that I ever show you

jokes around
laughing out loud
deep inside
I say..
"I love you"
of course,
they never form a sound
nor that you can read my mind

maybe...
if you see me
you could see my eyes telling you the truth
unfortunately,
you never see my eyes
so you never know

but now..
fortunately..
you still never see my eyes
so you'll never know the lies that I said
while my eyes tell you the truth

hoping for a miracle

my hope without root
without any seed
without rain
without any grow media
without sun
without air
and yet.. I still hope for flowers

my hope is like a salmon
wishing that it could see it's children

my hope is to see aurora
but not in the poles

my hope is to see living dinosaurs
in the zoo

my hope is..
without oxygen
without water
without nutrition
and yet... I still hope to be alive...