condolences for him..

Gw baru aja tau, dari mantan supervisor gw..
kalo ternyata ex boss gw meninggal dunia tadi pagi.

jujur gw kaget banget...
bisa dibilang gw ga percaya!!
he is so stubborn and annoying that he won't die easily!!!!
seriously!

but, what can I say...
an accident is an accident, and it can really take people lifes....

it is true that I don't like him when I was working with him.
it is true that I'm happy when he quit the job.

but it also true that I am grieving for him.
I never thought that he is going to have such a short live.

he is not a good supervisor,
but he is quite nice as a friend.

this thing also teach me something.
we'll never know when, where, or how that we are going to die
it could be soon, it could be later
but you'll never know

now, I don't have any grudge to him
I forgived everything
and I am sincerely praying for him....

ngantuuuukkkkk

......
aku ngantuk.....
>.<
pantatku masih sakit banget gara" naik kuda tadi pagi.
yah walaupun aku seneng banget, tadi aku da bisa cantering, though not totally great, I'm still learning anyway.
dan gw yakin banget... besok........
it's going to be much WORSE!!!!
not only for my ass, but also for my legs and back.
T.T
horse riding not only consume time and money. it also consume your energy A LOT, trust me on that. lol
I only rode for an hour today, and I'm going to rode for 5 hours on Sunday!!!!!!!!
Gosh, I think I'll skip all of my classes on Monday!!
LOL

gw rencananya lagi mo buat report events..
but here I am.. I ended here again...
lol

why is it so hard to concentrate on my formal writings?
and I ended up writing here in my blog informally, for my own pleasure.
why????????
this is not the first time, and I'm really sure that this is not the last time.
I'm supposed to struggle on the impacts of Edinburgh Military Tattoo!!!!!!
anyway.. I'm not in a mood at all now
xp

I felt lonely...
and I want to be alone in the same time.
I want to be accompanied by someone
but I prefer to lock my self in my room.
why??

how could a contrary feeling exist in the same time?

I laughed a lot today, but still I felt this alone at night.
what is wrong with me?
what is it the thing that my heart unconciously miss?
what is it that I want to find and have??

my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier...
my mind started to drift away from reality..
but yet, I still try to be awaken..

dan lihatlah betapa tidak sinkron lagi tulisanku???
karangan yang telah kuawali dengan bahasa indonesia, diikuti dengan bahasa inggris....
ah..
sudahlah..
sudah males aku mikirnya...
separuh kesadaranku telah berada di alam mimpi...
and I'm still waiting for what, that I don't even know

did you ever know??

I'm hoping for you
of course
I never tell you
nor that I ever show you

jokes around
laughing out loud
deep inside
I say..
"I love you"
of course,
they never form a sound
nor that you can read my mind

maybe...
if you see me
you could see my eyes telling you the truth
unfortunately,
you never see my eyes
so you never know

but now..
fortunately..
you still never see my eyes
so you'll never know the lies that I said
while my eyes tell you the truth

trying to make cv and cover letter

ok, I've found an internship opportunity in the internet.
and I want to apply for it, so of course...
I need to make a cv and cover letter first!!!

and this is what happen .. :
I want to make a formal picture for my cv....
..
..
..
..
1st attemp:
and then........







God......
I'll never be able to finish this!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

and one thing... (sigh...) my formal picture never look good.....
>.<

hoping for a miracle

my hope without root
without any seed
without rain
without any grow media
without sun
without air
and yet.. I still hope for flowers

my hope is like a salmon
wishing that it could see it's children

my hope is to see aurora
but not in the poles

my hope is to see living dinosaurs
in the zoo

my hope is..
without oxygen
without water
without nutrition
and yet... I still hope to be alive...